considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
