Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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