I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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