A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
