i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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