I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
