oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
