wake up i wanna do it froggy style
where am i from again
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
