if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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