So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
