The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
