I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
