There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
