I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
