Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
