In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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