What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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