scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
