i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
