Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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