my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
