So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
