miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
soo... how was my night?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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