i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
