SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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