I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
