so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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