He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
