when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Can I color on your dick again?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
