I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize