gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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