you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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