There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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