shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
