I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
so much tequila, so little girl.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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