You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Can I color on your dick again?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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