It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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