the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
