Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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