She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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