i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
