i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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