I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
