Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
