he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
