i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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