Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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