We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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