bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Vodka?
Forever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
