ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
