remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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