You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
