She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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