Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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