I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize