Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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